Hostage Phrases

If you ever travelling in Arabia, you may find it useful to know these simple phrases. With deep respect to the Islam nation, be it known that less than 2% of the population belong to radical extremist factions. Most Muslims are of course, very nice people. Remember, this is a joke.

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-=- USEFUL PHRASES TO KNOW WHEN -=-
TRAVELLING IN MOSLEM AREAS
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AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOTFAN.
Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.

FEKR GABUL CRADAN DAVAT PAEH GUSH DIVAR.
I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie on the floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart.

SHOMAEH FEKR TAMOMEH OEH GOFTEH BANDE.
I agree with everything you have ever said or thought in your life.

AUTO ARREREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAHEH HAST.
It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the trunk of your car.

FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAYEH MOHEMARA JEBEHKESHVAREHMAN.
If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages, I will glady reciprocate by betraying my country in public.

KHREL JEPAHEH MANEH VA JAYEH AMERIKAHEY.
I will tell you the names and addresses of many American spies travelling as reporters.

BALLI, BALLI, BALLI !
Whatever you say!

MATERNIER GHERMEZ AHLEIEH, GHORBAN.
The red blindfold will be lovely, excellency.

TIEKH NUNEH OB KHRELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM.
The water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe.

Submitted by: James Anthony Savage (jasavage@acs.ucalgary.ca)