Rejected Pick-Up Lines

GUY: I know how to please a woman.
GAL: Then please leave me alone.
GUY: I want to give myself to you.
GAL: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
GUY: May I see you pretty soon?
GAL: Don't you think I'm pretty now?
GUY: Your hair color is fabulous.
GAL: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.
GUY: You look like a dream.
GAL: Go back to sleep.
GUY: I can tell that you want me.
GAL: Yes, I want you to leave.
GUY: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
GAL: Do not enter. (or Stop.)
GUY: I'd go through anything for you.
GAL: Let's start with your bank account.
GUY: May I have the last dance?
GAL: You've just had it.
GUY: I would go to the end of the world for you.
GAL: Yes, but would you stay there?
GUY: Your place or mine?
GAL: Both. You go to your place, and I'll go to mine.
GUY: Is this seat empty?
GAL: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
GUY: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
GAL: What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?
GUY: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
GAL: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

A woman is picked up by a basketball player in a bar. They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room. He removes his shirt and she sees that on his arm is a tattoo which reads Reebok. She thinks that's a bit odd and asks him about it.
He says, "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for the advertisement."
A bit later, his pants are off and she sees Puma tattooed on his leg. He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo. Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word Aids tattooed on his penis. She jumps back with shock. "I'm not going to do it with a guy who has Aids!"
He says, "It's cool baby...in a minute it's going to say Adidas.

Submitted by: James Anthony Savage

GUY: Baby..can't you tell that I have a thing for you?
GAL: Yes...but why is it so small and deformed?

Submitted by: Gerard Arsenault

If I was a girl I'd fuck me.

Submitted by: Neil MacKay - focker34@hotmail.com

GUY: I wanna get in your pants.
GAL: Sorry, I've already got an asshole in there.

Submitted by: Anon

Less than Charming Pick-Up Lines

The word of the day is Legs, lets go back to your place and spread the word!
I'm a squirrel, you're a tree. I wanna bust my nutz in your hole!
Submitted by: John Balk (Green034@AOL.com)
Nice shoes...wanna fuck?
Submitted by: NCC-1701
ALL I WANT IS A LITTLE PEACE AND QUIET. GIVE ME A PIECE AND I'LL BE QUIET.
Submitted by: Patrick Dauterive
That sweater looks becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be cumming too!
I'm not Fred Flintstone but I'll Make Your Bedrock!
Submitted by: Mike Cross
Guy: You have 2000 bones in your body right?
Girl: Yeah!!
Guy: Want another one?
Submitted by: Kevin Joseph
A man walks up to a woman and says, "Do you sleep on your belly?" she replies, "No."
Man says, "Can I?"
Submitted by: Matt Jordan (Maddog2099@hotmail.com)
Guy points to girls sweater, "That looks like silk..." points down, "Oh...and that must be felt."
Ever tripped over a small tree? How about a root?"
Can I tickle your stomach from the inside?"
Would you hold it against me if I told you your body was sexy?"
Submitted by: Erkle
GUY: IF YOUR LEFT LEG WAS THANKSGIVING, AND YOUR RIGHT LEG WAS CHRISTMAS, COULD I VISIT YOU BETWEEN THE HOLIDAYS?
Submitted by: MARK JOHNSON
Guy: Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I can see myself tappin' that ass.
Submitted by: Shaunia
DO YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT BIRDS....?
WELL...WOULD YOU TAKE THIS FOR A SWALLOW?
Submitted by: Chickenshit
HE: Do you give head to strangers?
SHE: NO!
He: Then allow me introduce myself.
Submitted by: Danny
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
15. Are those real?
16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning..
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
22. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?
23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
Submitted by: Jobelle

More Pick-Up Lines

Q: Are those moon pants?
A: No, well your ass is sure out of this world.
Submitted by: Tyler Lowe (kelowe@siue.edu)
Hey, that shirt is very becoming on you...
...of course if I was on you...I'd be coming too!
Submitted by: Zerethusta (dbonar@smus.bc.ca)
Q: Do you sleep on your stomach?
Q: Can I?
Submitted by: Andy Irons (airons@ccipost.net)
Q: Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
Well I can see myself in your pants!
Submitted by: Amanda & Niki (head3korn)
Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
I'm not really this tall...I'm just sitting on my wallet.
Guy: Did it hurt?
Girl: Did what hurt?
Guy: When you fell from heaven...did it hurt?
Submitted by: Bec Sullivan (thebluevan@hotmail.com)
HE: Do you wash you clothes in Windex?
SHE: Why?
HE: Because I can sure see myself in your pants!
Submitted by: Jeff (jdunsworth@hotmail.com)
I wanna get every bone in your body including mine.
Do you come from Tennessee because your the only Ten I see.
Submitted by: Andrew Kimber