The Simpsons

Hooked on Ebonics


  1. Foreclose - If I pay alimony dis week, I'll have no money foreclose.

  2. Rectum - I had two Cadillacs, but my ol' lady rectum both.

  3. Hotel - I gave my girlfrend crabs and da hotel everybody.

  4. Disappointment - My parole officer tel me, if I miss disappointment, I goin back.

  5. Israel - Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex. I said, "Man dat looks fake." He said, "Bullshit, dat watch Israel."

  6. Catacomb - Don King was at da fight the other night. Man, somebody oughta give dat catacomb.

  7. Undermine - Dere be a fine lookin ho livin in da partment undermine.

  8. Acoustic - When I was liddle, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to da pool hall.

  9. Iraq - When we got to da pool hall, I tell my uncle, "Iraq, you break."

  10. Stain - My muther-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "You plan on stain fo dinner?

  11. Seldom - My cousin gave me two tickets to da Nicks game, so I seldom.

  12. Honor - At da rape trial, the judge axed my buddy, who be honor first?

  13. Odyssey - I tol my brother, "You odyssey the tits on that ho!

  14. Tripoli - I was gonna buy me ol' lady a bra for her birthday, but I couldn't find a tripoli.

  15. Fortify - I axed the ho, "How much?" She said, "Fortify."

  16. Income - I just got in bed with da ho and income my wife.

    Submitted by: Celeste Sagadin (tycoon@webtv.net)

  17. Penis - I went to the doctor. The nurse gave me a plastic cup and said, "Penis."

    Submitted by: Gregory Jones (ROMISSYBUG@aol.com)

  18. Pacific - I axed Loc-Dogg where dem fools did the drive by and all he said was, Over there, so I axed him to be more pacific.

    Submitted by: Reynaldo Andaya (Doonz@aol.com)

  19. Q: What has six legs and goes HO-DE-DOE, HO-DE-DOE, HO-DE-DOE?
    .....
    ....
    ...
    ..
    .
    A: Three brothers...running for an elevator!

    Submitted by: Gerome

  20. Carlos is taking a job interview and is asked to use the words, green, pink, and yellow in a sentence.
    His response, "Last nite I hear the phone go, greeeeen, greeen...so I pink it up and say, yellow?"

    Submitted by: MIKE MARNERIS (mike_marneris@juno.com)

    Jesus is taking his citizen test and had already passed two thirds of the exam. Now all he needed to do was to get by the oral. The immigration officer says, "I need you to use the words defense, defeat, and detail in a full sentence.
    Our man thinks about it a while, brightens and answers, "The dog jump defense with defeat first and detail last."

    Submitted by: Aimee Silva

  21. Misdemeanor - The mo sex I mis-demeanor I get!

    Submitted by: Kayler (kayler@hotmail.com)

  22. Hormone - Man, did I make that hormone last night!

    Submitted by: Chickenshit

  23. Fee fo fi fo fo fi fi fee fo - Hey...dat's my social security number!

    Submitted by: RJJ

    Ebonics Crimmus

    Wuz de nite befo Crimmus;
    And all ower da hood;
    ereybody wuz' sleepin';
    Dey wuz sleepin' good.


    We hunged up our stockings;
    An hoped like de' heck;
    That old Santa Clause;
    Be bringin' our check.

    All o'de fambily;
    Wuz layin in de beds;
    While Ripple and Thunderbird;
    Danced through dey heads.

    I passed out inna' flo;
    Right nex to my Maw;
    When I heard sech a fuss;
    I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"

    I looked out thru de bars;
    What covered my doe;
    'Spectin' de sheriff;
    Wif a warrent fo sho.

    And what did I see;
    I said, "Lawd look at dat!!"
    Ther' wuz a huge watermellon;
    Pulled by giant warf rats!!

    Now ober all de years;
    Santa Clause, he be white;
    But looks liken us bros;
    Gets a black Sanna dis nite.

    Faster dan a Po'lees car;
    My home boy he came;
    He whupped on dem warf rats;
    An' called dem by name!

    On Leroy, on 'Lonzo ;
    And on Willie Lee;
    On Saphire, on Chenequa;
    Dey wuz a site to see!!

    As he landed dat watta' mellon;
    Out der in da skreet;
    I knowed it was fo' sho';
    Da damndest site I ebber did see.

    He didn't go down no chimbley;
    He picked da' lock on my doe;
    An' I sez to myself;
    "Shit!! He done dis befoe!!!"

    He had dis big bag;
    Full of prezents I 'xpect;
    Wid Air Jordans and fake gold;
    To wear roun' my neck.

    But he left no good prezents;
    Jus started stealing my shit;
    Got my drugs, got my guns,
    Even got my burglar's kit!!

    Wit my stuff in de bag;
    Out da window he flewed;
    I woudda' tried to catched him;
    But he stoled my 'nife too!!

    He jumped on dat wadda' mellon;
    An' whipped out a switch;
    He wuz gone in a seccon';
    Dat son of a bitch!!

    Next year I be hopin':
    Anutha Sanna we git;
    Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause;
    Jus' ain't werf a shit!!!

    Submitted by: 007 (Schrapnel7@aol.com)

  24. Hodown - I knocked dat ho down last nite afer she told me she wuz cheetin on me with my bes friend!

    Submitted by: Jason K (skurtzman@compuserve.com)

  25. Nacho - Dat ho is nacho ho! She be mine!

    Submitted by: Nicola (mancl@mta.ca)

  26. Q: How do you ask the time in ebonics?
    A: Give me yo watch mutha fucka!

    Submitted by: Alex KNapp - signuuf@aol.com

  27. Domineering: I gave ma' woman a domineering for her birfday.

    Affro: When I get mad, affro a lamp at da wall.

    Button: Dat ho put her button my couch an' broke it.

    Submitted by: Jennie

  28. Anemone: The opposite of afriend.

    Submitted by: James

  29. Bofum - I don't jus want wun, I want bofum.

    China - There you go all china start sumtin'

    Submitted by: Chickenshit

  30. Demorall - You got anymore of those Pills? Nah Man, Demorall I have.

    Believing - You want to go to the show tonight? Yeah Man, What time we believing?

    Online - Does that dude ever tell the truth? Nah He just keep Online

    Federation - We Couldn't get a whole meal, but we got Federation

    Submitted by: Gabriel Silvers -hardcorechamp420@hotmail.com




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