Condoms I
Which condom would you use?
Nike: Just do it.
The John Bobbit: Riveted for her pleasure. Strong for his protection. Submitted by: Robert D'Agostino (RDagost114@aol.com)
Diet Coke: Just for the fun of it! Submitted by: John Sampson
Maxwell House Coffee: Good to the last drop!
McDonald's: Have you had your break today? Submitted by: Aaron Gray (thornn@swbell.net)
Hanes (ladies): Just my size!
The Dominos Pizza: Hot! Wow! Now! Submitted by: Roland Hawkins ((YerFat)
Flintstone: It's rockhard, but it gets the job done.
Napa Auto Parts: Keeps America running. Submitted by: Lauire Wright
Ducan Donuts: It's worth the trip. Submitted by: (Kix626)
Diet Coke: Just for the taste of it.
Easy-Off Kitchen: It does all the work, so you hardly have to work at all.
Glade PlugIns: Plug it in, plug it in.
EXXON: PUT A TIGER IN YOUR TANK! Submitted by: LEAYXRMNA
Sprite: Obey your thirst!
Submitted by: Mike Boyce (BuzzkillM)
Submitted by: Aykut Yilmaz (aykuty@hotmail.com)
Volkswagon: Drivers Wanted. Submitted by: Justin
Downy: Come on in
Submitted by: Missa
Toyota: I love what you do for me
Submitted by: Jarrett Messina (william.messina@snet.net)
Kraft: When the juice starts flowing, Kraft gets your noodle going!
Submitted by: Jason Tillotson
Snickers: Hungry...Why Wait?
Submitted by: Michael
Coka Cola: Just for the feel of it!
Submitted by: Barbie
Taco Bell: Wan't some?
Submitted by: Josh Baker
Mazda: It just feels right!
Burger King: Have it your way.
Submitted by: Eunice Hughes (chughes3@bellsouth.net)
Bridgestone: It keeps going and going.
Submitted by: HORNY ROOSTER
Extra: Extra flavour, Extra fun.
Submitted by: Chicken
Velveta Cheese: It's the creamiest
Submitted by: Dewey (dewey01@hotmail.com)
1. Minkota trolling motor: Doesn't know the meaning of quit
Submitted by: Josh and Trey (Trojan14@aol.com)
Panteen Pro-v: So health looking, it shines!
Submitted by: Malcolm (mwollach@smus.bc.ca)
McCain Rising Crust Pizza: Rise up! Rise up!
Submitted by: TTT (tonythetiger10@hotmail.com)
Harvey`s: It just tastes better!
Submitted by: MICHAEL PAOLOZZA
JC Penny: Doing it right!
Submitted by: Anthony Jacobs
Sprint Canada: Dime a minute!
Submitted by: Fred and John (frl@canada.com)
Navy: What did you do today?
Submitted by: Spam56 & Blondtiger15 (Spam56@yahoo.com)
SURGE: Feed the Rush!
Submitted by: Rae Jenkins (Rayven14@aol.com)
Beef: It's what's for dinner!
Submitted by: Jeremy White
Speed Stick: Anything less would be uncivilized.
Submitted by: Alex Holczer, Pat McDermott, Eric Hanusek (afx_holczer@yahoo.com)
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom. Imagine his shock and surprise. Imagine his
curiosity; surely Miss Bea had flipped! But he certainly couldn't mention the strange sight in her parlor.
When she returned with tea and cookies they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl and its strange floater, but soon it got the best of him, and he could resist no longer. "Miss Bea,"
he said, "I wonder if your would tell me about this," pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful! I was walking downtown last fall and I found this little package. It said to put on your organ and keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know, I think it is working; I haven't had a cold all winter.
Visit my homepage at http://members.xoom.com/JokeBoss
for more jokes, trivia questions even Romance! !
Submitted by: James Anthony Savage
She asked," What size condoms?" The customer replied that he didn't know.
She asked him to drop his pants. He did, she reached over the counter,
grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom," One box of large
condoms, Register 5."
The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of
us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him. She asked him what size, and he
stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did, she gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, "One box of medium-sized condoms, Register 5."
A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen
was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a
live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the register he told the checker he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him one quick squeeze, then picked up the intercom and said....
Submitted by: OLY
Toyota: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos: The freshmaker.
Flintstones Vitamins Pack: Ten millon strong and growing.
Secret: Strong enough for a man, but Ph balanced for a woman.
Macintosh: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
Ford: The best never rest.
Chevy: Like a rock.
Dial: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto: Cause hey... you never know.
California Lotto: Who's next?
Avis: Trying harder than ever.
KFC: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola: Always the Real Thing.
Lays: Betcha can't have just one.
Campbells Soup: Mm, mm good.
The Carl's Jr.: If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't
belong in your face!
General Electric: We bring good things to life!
AT&T: "Reach out and touch someone."
Bounty: The quicker picker upper.
Microsoft: Where do you want to go today ?
Energizer: It keeps going and going and going....
M&M: "It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!"
Chevron: Use them? People do.
Taco Bell: Get some; make a run for the border.
MCI: For friends and family
Double Mint: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
The Sears Latex: One coat is good for the entire winter.
Delta Airlines travel pack: Delta's ready when you are.
United Airlines travel pack: Fly United.
The Star Trek: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before. Submitted by: James Anthony Savage
Wide Leg Jeans: It's wide open! Submitted by: Zeus (william.messina@snet.net)
7up: It's an up thing.
Exxon: Rely on the tiger.
Milk: Does a body good.
Nissan: Enjoy the ride.
Star Trek: Beam me up. Submitted by: Jarrett William Messina (william.messina@snet.net)
KFC: Everybody needs a little
DeVry: A higher degree of success
Disney: Remember the magic
Extra: Lasts longer, and longer, and longer
Palmolive: Tough on grease, not on hands
Wrigley's: Pure chewing satisfaction
Publix: Where shopping is a pleasure
Duracell: Can't top the copper top
Breyers: Taste, not technology
Sears: Come see the many sides
Glade Fresh Scents: Plug it in, Plug it in
Sprite: Obey your thirst
Pepsi: Generation Next
Cryspex: Crispy to the end
Kellogg's Mini Wheats: Bite and smile
Starburst: The juice is loose
Kreagen: Come on...let's work together!
Rebok: This is your planet
Magnavox: Simply smarter
2. Die Hard battery: Whats under your hood?
3. Colgate: Recommended by 4 out of 5 Dentist
4. Snickers: Packed with peanuts and really satisfies
5. Army: Be all that you can be
6. Sears: Come see the softer side
7. JCPenney: I love your style
8. Dockers: Nice pants
9. Secret Sheer Dry: Strong enough for a man but made for a woman
10. USA: Up all night
11. NAPA Auto Parts: We keep America's engine's running
12. The Scrub Buster: Very clever Black and Decker
13. Preperahation H: Stops itch and further irritation
14. Red Lobster: Our crabs don't pinch
15. Maxwell Cappicunnio: The magic without the machine
16. TheraFlu: Instant compfort and relief you can count on
17. Stove Top Stuffing: The San Fransisco treat
18. Green Giant: Ho ho ho Green Giant
Snapple:Made from the best stuff on earth!
Gatorade: Is it in you? What's your dream?
Mountain Dew: Do the Dew!!!
Domino's Pizza: Delivering a million smiles a day!
Pork: The other white meat.
Milk: I'll do your body good!
Speed Stick: It does the job without the flaky white stuff.
Moutain Dew: It's smooth and goes down easy too.
Moutain Dew: You'll discover what's inside quenches like no other
Ball Park Franks: They plump when you cook'em.
Navy: Full Speed Ahead!
Marines: The few, the proud.
Twix: Two for me, none for you.
Allstate: You're in good hands.
EA Sports: If it's in the game, it's in the game.
Playstation: You are not ready.
N64: You in?
N64: Get in or get out.
Pepsi One: Taste the difference.
Altoids: The strongest in a metal box.
Toyota: For everyday people.
UPS: Garunteed Overnight.
FedEx: We are there when you need us.
Herbal Essence: A totally organic experience.
American Express: Don't leave home without it.
Sam Goody: Goody's Got It!
Blockbuster: Garunteed to be there.
NFL: Feel the power.
MLB: It's unbelievable.
NBA: It's FANtastic!
Wideworld of Sports: The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat.
WWF Raw: Raw is War.
WCW: Where the big boys play.
7-Eleven: We're always open.
The Food Network: It's not hard when you know how to do it.
Domino's Delivery: We'll come in 30 minutes, or its free.
All: It's the stain lifter that's all.
Playboy TV: Turn us on.
Miss Bea was in her 80's and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the Spring and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea.
Submitted by: Nick
Submitted by: Kakcis - ~CrAzY~@ilovechocolate.com
Submitted by: Will Christ
Milk: Are you getting enough?
Telstra: Making it easy for you
One.Tel: You tell your freinds about one tel
Submitted by: Anarchy 2000 - im@yourhouse.to
Submitted by: Sajith Jayaratne - jayaratne@optushome.com.au
"Cleanup, register 5."
1996-2006 SearchableJokes.com ~ All Rights Reserved